Where to start if you want better friendships…

Take it from your friendly neighborhood therapist that the whole starting part of anything is often the hardest and most confusing place to be. When you focus in and direct your attention on where to start with having better friendships, it's easy to get overwhelmed and just throw in the towel altogether. After all, it's not like there's a plethora of resources out there on cultivating deeper and better friendships. (Oh so glad to be changing that ;))

So, before that sense of overwhelming dread sets in, I want to help you with this very question! I have a feeling you'll be surprised that by slowing down and asking this question, you will have some immediate clarity on what being a better friend and having better friendships can look like.

Let's get started shall we?! First off, you ready to see a sneak peak of one of the cards from level one of The Friendship Deck?!

SHARE ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WHO TAUGHT YOU THE MOST ABOUT FRIENDSHIP. WHAT ARE THEY LIKE? WHAT DID THEY TEACH YOU?

One of the many reasons I created the Friendship Deck is because I realized for myself, my clients, and my own friends that we had basically zero resources to be reflective about our friendships. It felt important to me when I was creating this game that we start at the very basics when it comes to friendship. It's easy to assume you need to go straight to what's NOT working, but I've found if you can start with what IS working, the process will be a lot smoother.

Start by reflecting on a friend who has taught the most about friendship and what it means to be a good friend.

My friend Melanie is the one who comes to my mind. I met her when I was fresh out of graduate school as a baby therapist with no idea what I was doing. She worked at the private practice I was at in Nashville and took me under her wing. I literally have never met anyone who asked more questions than me, but I knew when I was in her presence I felt at ease and always loved her deep and kind curiosity.

If you know much about my own personal story, you know that I've moved quite a lot over the past few years. She was just in Charleston a few weeks ago for a much needed visit and I realized she has been to every single place I've lived since leaving Nashville. It makes me feel so, so special that she consistently makes time for me.

When I think about cultivating deeper, more meaningful friendships in my own life and where to even start, it's Melanie who I think about. She's the walking truth that friendships don't happen on accident. She is intentional with her time, she's proactive and schedules friend hangs throughout her week, and then she shows up consistently.

I hope you all have a Melanie. :)

I'd invite you to reflect on your friends that do friendship well and who inspire you to be a better friend. Look at what they're doing, how they do it and then implement what works for them into your own life! Sure it's not going to look exactly the same, but having a starting block like “Oh, my friend always asks what's a good time to facetime and then she puts it on the calendar to mark off the time so she won't forget it and when the time comes, she calls and we get to spend quality time together that is so refreshing" is so helpful. You can use that with your other friends and start asking them what time works to chat and then mark it in your own calendar so that you remember to act on your good intentions of connecting with your friends.

See?! You have a clear and actionable starting place on being a better friend that you can implement immediately. :)

I can't wait for The Friendship Deck to be in your hands and in your friend groups because you'll get to hear so many great ideas from your friends about what being a better friend could look like!

The Friendship deck is now available for pre-order and can be purchased here! Decks will ship within 4-5 weeks of your purchase date!!